Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Clerihews for the Losers


I like to stay hopeful about the future, so it's good to reflect that later this year, someone will lose the election to be the President of the United States. I wrote some clerihews to comemorate the last few losers. Sure, a clerihew is a pretty easy form to write, but what do they want for losing?


1996: Bob Dole

Bob Dole
Lacked a goal.
The Dems would demand what they wanted, and when Bob took the floor,
He'd propose the same thing, but a little less, and cheaper, and slower.


2000: Al Gore

Al Gore
Made 'em snore.
Known for his climate-warming-catastrophe hawking,
Though it unobligingly got cold wherever he was talking.


2004: John Kerry

John Forbes Kerry
Got a great keynote from this other guy, Barry.
Then he 24-7 talked Vietnam,
Till he sounded like a disgruntled-vet version of Miss Havisham.


2008: John McCain

John McCain,
The Times assured us, was broadminded and urbane.
That is, until he got nominated,
Whereafter he was abominated.


2012: Mitt Romney

Governor Mitt Romney
Became his party's nominee.
And campaigned with such chipper politeness,
Even whites were put off by his whiteness.


2016: Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton,
Though marrying a skilled politician was her life's sole noteworthy accomplishment, on
The basis of it, ran for President.
We all know how that went.


Who will be next? No telling. But one thing is certain: you will not find any of my poetry in "The Hyland Resolution", my story in PLANETARY ANTHOLOGY: LUNA. Enjoy!

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