Thursday, January 3, 2019

12 Lousy Predictions for 2019

Anyone familiar with the record of my ouija board will be interested in my predictions for 2019 so they can bet against them. Here are a dozen:

  1. The Academy Awards will be held without a host this year. But the bigger surprise will come the next morning, when the ratings reveal they were also without an audience.
  2. A genetically-modified horse will be foaled with the scientists involved promising that such horses will soon dominate all races that allow them. Several races will hurriedly enact rules barring them.
  3. Vladimir Putin will make a surprising offer of land grants in Russia to white South Africans willing to relocate there, with their families.
  4. Congress will not allocate funding for a border wall. Nevertheless, construction will begin, through some dubious workaround.
  5. Britain will leave the EU in the spring without a deal for an orderly separation, and by the end of the year the effect of the divorce on its economy will be ... notably better than the effect on the rest of the EU. Before 2020, another nation will also elect to exit.
  6. Captain Marvel, Avengers: Endgame, Dark Phoenix, and Star Wars: Episode WHOCARESANYMORE will all disappoint fans. On the other hand, the Memorial Day weekend Brad Pitt science fiction movie Ad Astra will pleasantly surprise.
  7. A third Trump appointment, female, will be confirmed to the Supreme Court after a circus of protests. Her opponents in Congress will undertake to tie some explosive misogynistic scandal to her.
  8. Chicago will elect its second female mayor. Soon after she will declare a state of financial crisis, appeal to the federal government for a bailout, and upon being rebuffed, claim that President Trump's hardheartedness is the real problem.
  9. The House will impeach the president two or three times, and the Senate will dismiss each case more rapidly than the one before. Finally an issue will arise concerning the manner of conducting the 2020 US Census, which will provide the pretext for yet another impeachment vote; it will fail in the House and will be the last such attempt. President Trump's approval rating will rise slightly after each attempt, topping 55% by the year's end. 
  10. There will be regime change in one of the nations on this list: China; Cuba; France; Iran; Venezuela.
  11. My writing activity will increase significantly in 2019 with the completion of several stories and beginning a novel. Two as-yet unwritten stories of mine will see publication. The total number of posts on this blog will triple.
  12. Finally, something from this list of totally-surprising events will happen:
     -- The Chinese lander on the far side of the Moon will pick up signals that some will say originated with an extraterrestrial civilization.
     -- President Trump will receive astonishment, consternation, and approval, each of them crossing party lines, by proposing to forgive an enormous amount of student debt held by the US Treasury.
     -- Pope Francis will abdicate, and an African bishop will be chosen as the new Pope.
     -- Congressman Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez will appear in a Super Bowl ad endorsing a popular brand of toothpaste. She will mention her liking for its color (blue),
     -- The Chicago Bears will win the Super Bowl.
     -- The Hugo Award for Best Novel will go to a straight white male.