"Why, Milo, old chum! Has my mind me forsook,
Or is that your dear phizz on a best-selling book?
How did you get such fame and such cel-eb-rit-y?"
"Oh didn't you hear how they banned me," said he.
"You were studying English and drama and stuff
With an eye to be some kind of theater buff.
Now you're jetting around, talking on the TV!"
"Yes, that's what you do when they ban you," said he.
"Back in school you were shy and reserved, not inclined
To outrageous ideas. Now you speaking your mind
Makes a feminist screech like a flipping banshee!"
"True, your confidence grows when they ban you," said he.
"And those garms never came out of Selfridge's aisles,
That's a Savile Row suit like the uppercrust styles!
You've got personal trainers and hench arm can-dy!"
"Consolations there are, when they ban you," said he.
"At Manchester you were obscure, I recall,
No one noticed you left; but this thing at DePaul!
Your fans crashed their ratings on Facebook, with glee!"
"Well, you win lots of friends when they ban you," said he.
"I wish I had your followers, watching my back,
And six-figure advances, and fame!" "Come on, jack!
A blog that does take-offs on Thomas Har-dy?
You're kidding me, right? No one bans that," said he.
(Note: suggestions about Milo's pre-notoriety lifestyle are pure speculation on my part and not at all probable.--JMT)